God and Stephen Hawking Chat

God: Hi Stephen nice to meet you.
Stephen Hawking: God, that can’t be you, I have shown through science that there is no God.
God: Does not my presence prove you wrong?
Stephen Hawking: No, this can’t be right, I must be imagining this.
God: You mean like imagninary time?
Stephen Hawking: So you’ve read my book?
God: Well I sort of skimmed through it once.
Stephen Hawking: What did you think?
God: Well to start your title is a bit misleading. You call your book “A Brief History of Time”, but then you go on to say that time is just imaginary. I found that a little misleading. And then when you left me out, well let’s just say we almost had another Big Bang. And believe me you would have been imagining it for a long time after.
Stephen Hawking: Hmm, you have a point. I hope you’re still not offended.
God: It’s ok, I am no longer so angry at you as I am with this new Richard guy. He really gets under my spirit. How would you feel if someone dedicated their whole existence just to tell everyone that you didn’t exist?
Stephen Hawking: I see your point.
God: I’ve tried everything from parting seas, fire on Mount Sinai, I even rose from the dead, but people still think I’m not real. Everyone seems to believe in you, do you have any advice for me?
Stephen Hawking: The secret is no one will believe in you these days until you write a book. All you have to do is write a book, then they will believe.
God: No Stephen, I tried that already, but it didn’t work.
Stephen Hawking: Oh yeah.
God: What did you think of my book Stephen?
Stephen Hawking: Well, I sort of, well I umm, I sort of haven’t read it.
Narrator: At this point there was a very large explosion, we can only pray for Stephen at this point. God was too angry to comment and quickly left the scene.